Fit Like A Glove, Not A Gown

Ladies(and guys🌈)have you ever found yourself leg cocked up, bent over with your fingers crammed all the way into your cervix(or where ever😩)digging like your searching for gold trying to retrieve a lost condom, left behind by a Durex Dude pretending to be a Magnum Man??? Is that not the most annoying shit in life(🤬). Is it just me or do not wanna slap that lost rubber right across his forehead after you finally dig it out? Guys I know this is a sensitive topic, but I got you honey...I get it...but here is a secret (🤫). Nobody ever got excited opening a huge gift box to find a gift card inside. Now before you even say it, I'll address it. No, it's not the same as women wearing padded bras or ill fitting underwear. The two differ for just two very simple reasons. One, the padded bra helps to enhance what is already there. In most cases a padded bra is worn to give a better fit to an outfit. In addition to that, underwear comes in standard sizes, but not ever woman has a standard body. Now. I've never heard of a man trying on a pair of pants and thinking how "a large condom would have his nuts sitting so nice". Since the only size condoms come in are standard, large or XL you really only have 3 choices. Please make good choices and save us from that very awkward position and prayer that we're able to find that baby/burn blocker that you left behind. If you can't fit a Magnum then strap those Trojan Ribbed Ultra Ribbed with pride, and give her that fun size dick with confidence. 

Photo credit:luckybloke.com